“I’d go back to the moment it all fell apart and I’d start there.”
– The Piper’s Son
Maybe, what I needed is a reset. Maybe, what I needed is to start from where it all ended. Maybe, I needed to change my way from where my world began to crumble.
There were regrets. A lot of it. As much as I try to correct my mistakes, it only makes things worse. It only make things more complicated. So while correcting the mistakes is one obvious option, when your paper already has a lot of erasures, is it only logical to tear that paper out, put on a new and clean one and start over?
They say bad decisions make good stories. Mine is a combination of both – a good decision with a bad ending, a bad decision that made it for the better. But somehow, I ended up not being happy of the outcome of what I did. When you don’t like what you’re doing anymore, the only left thing to do is to stop it.
“Stay when you’re happy, leave when you’re not.” I can count on my fingers how many times I tried to leave, to run away from everything. I always tell myself, this isn’t meant for me, but still end up doing the job. I’m not sure if the problem is with me, or with the circumstances I am in. Maybe it’s the latter. But then again, maybe it’s me.
So here I am, stopping to do a reset. It’s a time to clear my mind from things I want and don’t want, to separate my dreams and aspirations from my happiness, to make just a clean slate. I’m doing a reset to see what matters most to me. To do what I used to be happy doing.
Although, I’m not sure what will happen if this reset won’t work. At this stage, maybe it’s too early to tell. Maybe, if this reset won’t work, I just have to start from the scratch once again.